


Primulas

by DreamingStarChild



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Canon, Unrequited Love, but wait! its not what it seems!, hope you guys like flowers!, i know all of flowers i know how to say fuck you in flowers now, i spent hours looking up flower meanings, its like summer break after souji moves back, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-02-17 01:21:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13066179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingStarChild/pseuds/DreamingStarChild
Summary: what is the point of love if it's so painful?why did it have to hurt?why.





	1. Chapter 1

It happened out of nowhere

tears stung his eye’s as he coughed painfully the other’s seem worried he couldn’t really focus on anything, it felt like his throat was being ripped out it burned he can’t breathe it’s like he’s dying, 

”senpai!”

”Breathe senpai! Don’t ya die!”

he can barely keep track with the word’s being said to him the feeling of the other’s trying to keep him standing, he heard himself let out a pained cry as his knee’s gave out his body going on autopilot his hands cupping over his mouth,

another pained cough after another

”hang in there!”

”chie have you called anyone!?”

”I’m trying!”

his eyes opened feeling big fat tears slid down his cheek’s he cough again something finally coming out, it still hurt it still feels hard to breathe but it was something that lessened the pain

he focused on the thing he coughed up trying to find his breathing enough to live, before his eye’s were two soft perfect flower’s slightly covered in blood staining the lovely petal’s,

he dropped them painful coughing again

the panic scream’s and yell’s from his friend’s started to fade from his mind slipping or the cries he scream’s with each pain filled cough,

he felt someone’s arms most likely kanji’s pick him up and the feeling of them moving,

”teddie’s got an idea okay please stay with us!”

”YEAH! just try to keep talking to us senpai!”

”chie keeping trying to call an ambulance!”

”I’m trying but the call won’t go through!”

his eye’s closed again the tears still falling his cries rasped he wonder if anyone else then the team was in the food court,

he doesn’t know when his hand’s cling onto holding the other teens arm tightly, he might be digging his nail’s into his skin he’ll have to say sorry for that later if was a later for him,

the feeling of someone’s hand’s on his face forced him to open one eye

”we’re going into the TV world don’t let go of kanji-kun and kanji-kun keep a good hold on him please”

”you don’t have to tell me that”

they asked if he understood what he was told all he could do was nod yes before another coughing fit hit him,

a feeling of falling was felt

they went through the TV he held onto the others arm breathing becoming more uneven. he heard kanji’s yell naoto’s panic talking rise’s and teddie’s crying,

he cried another pained scream when the coughing fit wouldn’t stop, another flower coming out of his mouth the feeling of the arms holding him tighten they must be bracing the fall soon, everyone’s voices calmed and felt farther away as he was put down and propped up against something maybe the TV’s they use to leave or whatever not that he bothered or cared to try and look.

His hands grabbed at the ground letting out a rasped cry,

’you love him’

’isn’t that sweet?’

’but he doesn’t love you it seems’

’here a gift from me to you’

gasping from air he coughed again before feeling one of yukiko’s healing spells wash over his body. Within second’s the team was hugging him cheers mixed with cries

”guys…p-please” he winced before coughing again, they all pulled back giving worried looks to him, another flower came out of his throat he frowned but at least it didn’t feel like he was going to die anymore,

”don’t scare us like that again!” chie yelled though she clearly sounded worried, “yeah! You can’t be dyin on us!”, “you scared me beary bad!”

”yelling at yosuke-kun is not going to help him” naoto’s voice cut through the endless yells from the group, they stood in front of the brunette holding out a hand to help him up he raised a shaky hand to take the other teens and allowed himself to be helped up, “t-thanks naoto-kun” he whispered,

they only nodded and continued speaking to the team “teddie’s idea worked but it clearly hasn’t stop the effect’s of what’s wrong with yosuke. We should keep a close eye on him till we can work out what’s happening” they informed,

yosuke felt another coughing fit hit him the other’s quickly by his side asking if he’s alright. He waved a hand before coughing into his hand’s “I’m…f-fine” he wheezed. kanji’s hand gripped his shoulder “clearly your not senpai” he said,

the brunette tried to say something back but ended up coughing more instead

the team carefully led yosuke to the exit after making he was alright enough to go anywhere, they stood there talking about how to take the brunette home kanji letting him lean on him for standing support,

”is he going to be okay? What if…” rise paused with a grim face

”he’s fine as of now and we can’t stay in the TV world forever healing him every time it gets worse. So we can only keep a close eye on him and hope for…the best” they sighed

”…but what if?-“

”we’ll work that out when we get there. let’s just hope for the best at the moment and do our best for yosuke-kun” naoto repeated.

Everything went on autopilot from there leaving the junes taking yosuke back home. 

The team stayed there for the rest of the afternoon till they had to go home.

teddie not leaving his side taking what naoto said about keep a close eye on yosuke a bit to seriously. But he can’t blame the bear for that he was just worried. It made yosuke feel a little guilt even if there was a good reason for all the concern from him and their friends,

in the end yosuke was just really exhausted from all the coughing fits.

He was thankful the bear didn’t stop him from getting some well needed sleep.

There’s all sorts of why’s and how’s in yosuke’s head but he’s just to tired to think or care.

yosuke closed his eye’s with a painful feeling in his chest letting the exhaustion la him to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

he woke up gasping for air the next morning. Teddie instantly by his side in a panic helping him sit up “a-are you okay should I call the others!?” he asked while patting the other’s back,

”n…no” yosuke mumbled once he evened his breathing. The bear didn’t seem convinced and frowned “but yosuke!-”

”I’m fine ted…I’m fine”

yosuke pulled himself out of bed before teddie could argue about his answer again.

The brunette went through his normal morning cycle the other fidgeting while watching him with a worried gaze. He sighed turning to the bear “it’s…okay ted I said I’m fine and I am” he repeated to him.

”BUT! Your not yosuke your throwing up flowers! That’s not good!” teddie yelled. Yosuke frowned at him, he knows he’s right it’s not good but “ted I know it’s not…I know that but I can’t skip school or work today” he said

”can’t you just call sick I’ll take over your shift yosuke!” he whined, the thought put a painful ping of guilt in the brunette’s chest,

he smiled at teddie walking over to ruffle his hair “that’s nice of you teddie but I don’t look sick do I?” he asked. The bear nodded with a frown “see now if I told mom and dad I’m sick without looking it they’ll think I’m faking it” he added,

ted raised his hand to say something to only be stopped by yosuke “no ted…we can’t just say I’m coughing up flowers that’s not believable heck I don’t believe it much myself…but” he paused with a heavy sigh,

”look it’s not as bad as yesterday. And after today there’s only two day’s of school before summer break”

”b-but!-“

”teddie…I know your worried” he said

”I’M beary worried yosuke! What if. W-what if it gets as bad as yesterday!” he cried crying real tears.

yosuke leaned down to the blonde bushing away his tears “ted! Ted! It’s okay...it will be fine okay!?” he muttered trying to sound comforting to him, teddie nodded bushing away his tears “it…j-just it was really scary yosuke no one knew what to do” he cried again grabbing the brunette’s arms,

yosuke petted the other’s head as he cried “but ted you thought of something to do and I’m here right now aren’t I?” he asked,

he nodded sniffling “b-but what if we…can’t get you to the TV world in time” he muttered grimly. Yosuke bit at his lip not wanting to think about that either “you won’t let that happen. Sure as hell the team won’t either” was all he said,

nothing was said after that. yosuke let him calm down before saying he needed to get to school teddie walking him there holding onto his arm tightly,

when they got there chie yukiko and kanji were waiting. they all told teddie they would take care of watching the brunette for the school day. The bear was hesitant but agreed. 

once teddie left yosuke looked over at the three “you guys really had to make a watching schedule for me” he groaned,

”it was naoto’s idea they thought it would be best” yukiko stated.

All yosuke did was frown at the statement, 

chie stopping herself from getting upset with him didn’t go unnoticed.

No one said anything and headed inside the school building.

Most of school day went fine. fine in yosuke’s mind at least, he kept the coughing fits down to a minimum. And nothing bad like yesterday happened, everyone still kept close watch over him through the day,

”senpai~!”

rise’s arm linked with his as she gave him a big smile “your looking a lot better then you did yesterday” she stated,

yosuke felt a bit of relief that at rise acting normal with him unlike the others, “thanks rise” he smiled back. She grinned holding onto his arm tighter “your heading to work right?. Mind if I walk you there?” she asked, 

”yeah I’m guessing your watching over me now?”

Rise laughed awkwardly “ha ha yeah I swear I won’t be in your way while you work though!”,

he sighed patting her head with his free hand, “let’s go”

their walk to junes was surprisingly not as awkward as when the others followed him around the school, rise’s been humming to herself still link arms with yosuke

” Primulas”

”huh?” yosuke raised a brow at her

” Primulas. Those are the flowers you’ve been coughing up are” she stated looking at him, “It kind was bugging me cause I know what the flowers name is…felt the need to tell you” she muttered quietly,

”oh…thanks?”

They didn’t say anything after that and continued on their way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

rise true to her word didn’t get in his way while he was on shift. There was a moment he started coughing and she went to buy him a water bottle to help.

They were standing outside of junes the sky already setting. Rise leaned back on her heels “soo I’m guess I’ll be walking you home?” she asked. Yosuke nodded “uh yeah but…I think I want to walk for a bit get sometime to breathe you know?”.

”oh! Okay” she smiled linking their arms again as yosuke began to walk,

he looked at their linked arms a weird uneasy feeling that wasn’t there earlier hit him.

”say rise”

”hmm?” she chirped looking at him. “what is it yosuke senpai?”,

”isn’t this what you normally did with….s-souji?” he said, he has no idea why it’s bugging him now. Rise tilted her head with a confused face,

yosuke sighed “never mind forget I said anything” he muttered. she frowned a bit looking away humming to herself again,

why does this feel wrong?. It was fine till the thought of ‘she normally did this with souji all the time’ popped into his head. It just feels…wrong it leaves him uneasy and he can’t pin point why,

”senpai? Did you mean to walk this far?” rise asked, the brunette blinked unaware he brought them to the riverbank. “no…I didn’t”,

Rise gave him a worried look patting his arm “I think you got the fresh air you needed let’s get you home now” she smiled,

”y-yeah your right”.

For some reason the riverbank is making his chest hurt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

yosuke flopped onto his bed feeling a heavy wave of exhaustion finally hit. Today felt way to long

”yosuke?”,

”what is it ted?”

”You left your phone at home it was beeping all day” he muttered,

the brunette forced himself to sit up reaching over to his nightstand “oh”. He flipped it open seeing an ton of texts…from souji

{hey yosuke. you didn’t answer my call naoto told me what’s going on and they said you were fine but I wanted to make sure myself}

{yosuke I’m starting to get worried please answer}

{I called the other’s and they keep telling me your fine but I still haven’t heard it from you partner please call me.}

The texts just got more worried and longer from there. Yosuke stood up leaving the room “eh!? Yosuke”

”I’ll be right back” he muttered before heading to the stairs.

yosuke stepped outside hit the ‘call’ button the answer was immediately “yosuke!” souji’s relief voice was the first thing he heard, “hi partner I’m sorry I le-“ “don’t say sorry I’m just glad to hear from you” yosuke could hear the happy sigh of souji’s worse worries leaving his mind,

”I’m flattered partner” he joked trying to lift the mood more, “no really yosuke…you have no idea how much I needed to hear you say well that your…alive”,

yosuke’s heart was In his throat. His partner was this worried about him, of course he would he’s his partner. “well I’m alive souji I’m fine as of right now” he said hiding the shaky voice,

”yeah…” he sighed,

he tried to swallow the lump building in his throat. “yosuke”

the brunette shook his head “y-yes partner?” he answered with his shaky voice showing,

”just hang on okay? I’ll be over in inaba the second the break starts and we’ll fix whatever is going together alright?” souji’s voice took a serious tone,

yosuke felt a that painful feeling in his chest again and he forced himself to answer “okay…okay partner”,

the line went silent on both their ends, the brunette’s took a few deep breathes “partner” yosuke said in a whisper,

”yeah?”

”Thank you for worrying about…me”

yosuke could see the smile on souji’s face as he spoke “of course you’re my best friend my partner yosuke. I don’t what I would do if something happened to you”

yosuke mutter something along the lines of ‘I have to go call you back’ and dropped to his knees

it happened again.

Tears stung his eyes as it became hard to breathe

his hand went tight around the phone as he let out a cry,

he painfully coughed into his hands as flowers came out of his throat.


	2. chapter 2

souji tried to ignore the pit of anxiety forming, he said he was fine. souji heard his voice Heard him say tell him that. he’s still okay, 

“souji!....souji I-I have to..g-go talk later”

the way their call ended worried him. His partner sounded out of breath,

’just for wait two more days yosuke I’ll be there. I’ll fix this’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

yosuke’s body jumped up as he gagged covering his mouth trying to keep what was trying to come up down, “he’s awake! Oh thank goodness yosuke!” “yosuke senpai!” he held an arm out unable to kept it down,

Puking up a mix of flowers blood and vomit onto his comforter. he cringes as he cough’s a few times,

”oh dear…uh I’ll give you my comforter yosuke!” the bear chirps already turning to grab it, the brunette tries to speak but his voice was hoarse. Kanji takes the comforter off of yosuke, teddie placing his clean one top of him in a heartbeat “there! Better” he laughs nervously,

”naoto is coming over they think they know what’s wrong with ya senpai” kanji states,

Yosuke only nods clearing his throat “what h-happened?” he asked voice rasped,

teddie frowns looking on the verge of tears “you went outside and when you didn’t come back after awhile I got bear worried a-and-“ the blonde stops letting out a big cry,

the other winced at teddie’s cries “ted…it’s okay” he says,

teddie continues to cry dropping down to hug the brunette saying sorry about not keeping a better eye on him, a knot of guilt was in yosuke’s throat unable to say anything to comfort the bear,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

”…so that’s it!?” he yelled Coughing soon after. spitting out flowers “yes…that’s the only way to fix this since hanakaki disease is, fictional.”

yosuke flops down on his bed an arm over his face “so your telling me I have one sided love for someone and it’s going to fucking kill me”,

the brunette can already sense the bear tensing by his blunt words,

naoto sighed sitting down on the bed pulling his arm away, “I didn’t say that yosuke-kun…” they said narrowing their brows. “You have to think and tell us who you love, if it’s one of us we will not harm you senpai. Now who do you love?” they said with nothing but the burning feeling of their piercing gaze on him,

”I don’t know” he lied, he does know yosuke good as hell knows who it is.

naoto sighed again giving his arm a squeeze “who is it yosuke who do you love?” they asked again brows frowned and cracking with worry, it’s rare for naoto to act like this their never one to let emotions show.

”I said I don’t know!” he yelled, wincing he didn’t mean to yell at naoto

yosuke pulled his arm away flopping back down on his bed “I’m sorry” he muttered ashamed with himself,

just cause he can’t keep his act together doesn’t mean he should take it out on the others, not after all their worrying over him

the brunette takes a few deep breaths to calm down.

”...yosuke please understand I’m not trying to upset you I’m-I am worried about you, you are someone whose a close friend I don’t want to-no we don’t want to see you…die” their voice waved and cracked,

”their right…yosuke senpai we’re all worried”

”YES! We all are beary worried for you well being!”

yosuke’s fists ball up on as he takes another deep breath, he admitted how he feels to himself. It was hard to face that part of himself, that part he feared. To spill it out to his friends, he wasn’t ready

it’s not that he doesn’t trust them, of course he does their his friends…but he can’t just spill his heart to them that’s his and souji’s thing. Trusting each other enough Trusting souji enough to let him see weakness,

but he has to. And it hurts it hurts

”okay…I’ll say it” he sighs pulling himself up to face the three.

”it’s only between us four promise?”

”we promise yosuke” naoto said putting a hand on top of his

teddie’s and kanji’s did to “we’ll understand man” the teen mumbled

yosuke closed his eyes swallowing the lump in his throat

”okay it’s…-”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the next day felt fast and unnerving.

The team let him go to school but doubling up their watch duties after last night’s accident,

yosuke couldn’t bring himself to eat during lunch. The fear of throwing blood mixed vomit still his mind, “soo yosuke naoto said they found out what’s wrong” chie started,

the brunette gave a nod picking out his food not wanting to meet anyone’s eyes,

”did they say there’s a cure to this?” yukiko asked,

yosuke nodded again swallowing the painful lump “yeah…we’re gonna work it out when partners here” he whispered, the two hummed talking to each other “that makes sense” “we need our leader after all”

He stared blankly at his lunch sitting in is lap. He doesn’t feel like eating

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the whole team gathered in the food court before yosuke’s shift. “now that we’ll all here I’d like to inform what I found out about the flowers” naoto cleared their throat looking over to the brunette saying with their eyes they’d keep the secret a secret,

”from what I gathered yosuke has a disease called hanhaki. The case of throwing up flowers of unrequited love” they said, letting their words sink into the others minds,

rise was the first to speak “yosuke senpai loves someone who doesn’t love him back?” she questioned brow frowned,

naoto nodded glancing over to him “he said he doesn’t know who he loves till souji gets here we’ll have to keep an eye on him” they informed,

yosuke’s stomach felt twisted up as he avoided all and any eye contact with his friends, watching them throw back and forth ideas not noticing his uneasy, he took a few deep breaths trying to get a word in “look guys…I-“ he paused swallowing a painful lump in his throat,

”I’m scared and everything hurts but you guys making up ideas of who it is I love isn’t helping my own worries” yosuke finally says lifting his head looking at the team,

”we’re sorry senpai…” rise mutters lowering her eyes,

”it’d be fine okay once souji gets here we’ll work this out like naoto-kun said” he forced a smile to try and reassure them all,

chie raised a fist in the air with a small smile “YEAH! like yosuke said we just have to wait for souji! And this will all get worked out!” she cheers,

the others agreed as they started talking about who’s going to watch the brunette while he works, he lowers his head feeling rise’s burning gaze on him, just one more day this will all get worked out in one more day.

One more day…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll be honest i didnt plan for a souji pov at the start but i felt like it would help the story so yeah,
> 
> (also there may be some spelling errors sorry i'll fix them when i can!)


	3. chapter 3

{I’ll be on the first train to inaba after school. Should be there by late tonight or early morning see you soon partner},

yosuke stared at the text for the 100th time that day. He’s yet to reply to souji, souji…souji will be here in only a few hours,

the reality of that fact shouldn’t leave yosuke anxious.

”yosuke! were you even listening!?”

The brunette looked back up at the others. Slipping his phone back into his pocket “y-yeah something about needing a cake right? I can pick one up on the way home” he replied,

Half of the team had meet up on the school roof listing last minute things they needed for tomorrow. “Sorry to dump this on you but We…just didn’t get a chance to make one this time” yukiko apologized,

”yukiko it’s fine. I can handle getting a cake from junes. It’s no big deal” yosuke assured with a smile, the other teen sighed in relief giving a smile and a nod in return “then since that’s settled what’s next on the list?” chie chimed in 

The group all continued setting up the last minute plans till the lunch break was over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Classes went by faster then yosuke liked. Which is surprising knowing him,

the whole day was going faster then he liked

Now he stands in the bakery department of junes staring at cakes with teddie, “which one are we gonna get!? We’ve been standing here forever!” the bear whined with a pout. ‘forever’ being at least fifteen minutes of the brunette picking up and putting back down cakes, “it won’t take much longer ted” he told him. Sighing putting down the cake in his hand

”What was wrong with that one?”

”dry looking” he stated sighing again turning his head to the side. Thinking, an idea popped into his head that he felt happy with, “teddie follow me” yosuke said walking away from the cakes off to another department of the store

and the bear nodded cheering out an ‘okay!’ following behind the brunette.

yosuke walked down aisles getting what he knows they didn’t have back home turning down to the produce department grabbing fresh strawberries

teddie’s eyes sparkled knowingly. Practically hopping along side yosuke now

after they got home yosuke’s plan set into action. Sitting the bags on the counter top and rummaging through the cabinets for the rest of what he needed, teddie sat at the table watching his legs kicking the chairs leg’s,

”will you make me some to yosuke!?” the bear asked. The brunette chuckled to himself, “maybe I’ll make you something after tomorrow” he answered looking back at him. “this ones for souji” yosuke added,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was rounding around six when he finally finished, they gotten a call from yosuke’s dad saying something about how they’ll be late tonight. And to start dinner without them,

but that was fine. yosuke finish up wishing the dish’s and got started on dinner for the two of them, teddie went off into the living room to watch one of his cheesy romance show’s,

he liked nights like these. Where it was just him and ted home alone doing whatever, maybe order takeout or yosuke himself would cook one of the few thing’s he learned to cook for time’s like these,

he was about half through cooking when teddie stepped back into the kitchen. “hey…um yosuke?”,

”what’s up ted?”

”Are you gonna be okay?”. The brunette looked over at the other with a puzzled face “I’m fine? I don’t know why I wouldn’t”,

the boy pouted dropping his head down “with sensei coming back”

oh.

”teddie…” he sighed turning off the stove “I’m…not sure but it’ll be fine I promise” he gave the bear a half hearted smile “plus I’m not made of glass! So there’s nothing to worry about”, teddie looked up with glossy eyes “r-really?”

”Really ted.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay maybe he lied to teddie last night. Cause he’s clearly not doing ‘okay’,

standing here waiting for souji’s train to arrive. Already is making a knot form in his stomach, ‘just calm down’ yosuke closed his eyes taking a deep breath trying to tell himself that it will be fine,

”your oddly quiet hanamura”

yosuke jumped by the sudden hand on his shoulder. “oh dojima-san…yeah! I’m just getting over a summer cold, still kind of out it”,

”I see. Might not have been the best idea to come out here don’t you think?” he said giving a small smile to yosuke, he just laughed awkwardly rubbing his neck “and miss seeing souji? Not a chance”

dojima patted his shoulder laughing lightly “you kids sure miss souji huh?”.

yosuke nodded to dojima opening his mouth to reply when the train announcement ranged out, an enthusiastic nanako ran up smiling “big bro’s train is here!” she beamed “I heard”,

everyone was already heading over to the platform to greet souji. Nanako and dojima following behind them, yosuke stood in place the knot in his gut going tighter ‘he’s here he’s back I should be happy like everyone else but…’

He closed his eyes taking another deep breath forcing himself to move and follow everyone else,

the group stood on the platform waiting for the train to pull into a stop. Nanako and teddie hopping in place, Rise looking like she’s about explode with joy while chie naoto yukiko and kanji chatted with dojima happily.

yosuke’s eyes stared at the train as it came to a stop. He swallowed feeling the tickle of flowers in his throat,

The doors slid open

revealing souji. A duffle bag slung over his shoulder a happy smile on his face as everyone ran up to him.

Everyone but yosuke

the brunette stood back and watched. As souji bent down to hug nanako with a delighted smile planted on his face, teddie following after pretty much throwing himself at the teen with tears in his eyes, rise also threw herself at the sliver haired teen linking her arm with his, ‘more like were it belongs’

Souji looked up staring at yosuke. A flicker of relief in his eyes before smiling

yosuke stated back feeling his chest grow tight. And breathing slow,

He felt it coming. He knows it

Turning away yosuke ran out of the platform without a second thought of it. the others voices called him but they sounded faint, he had no idea where he’s running too but it had to be away from HIM

yosuke somehow ended up back home without problems.

Slamming the door shut. He dropped to his knees coughing and gagging, it hurt. It hurt so bad why does it feel like it hurts more now?

The brunette coughed up flower after flower. Till his throat was raw and petals stain with more blood then the first time 

His eyes slid close as he leaned back against the front door. Yosuke’s phone ringed forcing him to open his eyes and not pass out, he pulled the phone out of his pocket flipping it open,

”yosuke!” souji’s voice yelled through the line. Yosuke winced, the others have to be worried sick about him after running off like that,

”h-hey…partner” he tried to make his voice sound even and clear as he spoke “I’m really s-sorry for leaving like that but…” yosuke paused in thought of what to say, “I forgot something a-and I had to go get”

there was silence on the other end for a long moment,

”yosuke are you-“ “I’m fine! I’ll be over soon okay”

another long pause

”okay…Be careful”

”it’s just a walk from my house to doijma’s” he stated. “I don’t care please be careful”.

A painful ping hit yosuke with how soft and caring his partners words were. “okay I will”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

everyone sat with him in the living back at the dojima’s. well almost everyone,

yosuke ran off back at the station leaving the team confused and worried, he called him to make sure he was fine. What he got was a rasped voice of the brunettes saying how he forgot something and had to get it,

souji keep taking glances to the door waiting for the knock. Trying not to let his mind make up ‘what if’s’ in his head,

finally a knock at the door happened. Making him jump to his feet in a heart beat, opening the door souji saw his partner stand in front of him with a cake in hand and smiling, “I told you I forgot something” he said

the sliver haired teen felt a wave of relief seeing him alright “last minute junes brand cake?” he asked, yosuke laughed pushing his way inside “I guess you could say that”

souji raised a brow at him taking another glance at the cake. It didn’t look like any of the ones at junes, he opened his mouth to ask were it came from but the others started chatting up his partner

”yosuke senpai there you are! How dare you run off like that!”

”it was quiet uncool of you dude”

”you scared me half to death yosuke!”

souji just dropped the thought and closed the door. Everything’s fine for now he should enjoy it

tomorrow they have to workout what’s wrong with yosuke,

it’s going to be a long break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi!. sorry it took so long to update, i hit a bad point so it kind of made it hard to do anything i could hardly draw either it was awful!,
> 
> anyway i hope you guys enjoy! (again another souji pov i didn't plan) the next update should be hopeful soon since i already got some of it done, 
> 
> hopeful i got all spelling mistakes but if i didn't i'll do my best to fix em!


	4. chapter 4

Souji requested for the team to meet at the food court the following morning after his return for the summer, 

Naoto sent a reassuring text that they And kanji will keep promise to their words of not saying a thing. Letting yosuke have a choice of what to do about his feelings,

Walking towards the normal meet up spot yosuke felt that anxiousness return from yesterday at the sight of souji standing up to greet him and teddie, “partner!”

He forced a smile and waved as he walked up to the other “hey partner”.

Souji just smiles at him “Good to see you’re still the first one here when I call” his tone tried to sound joking, but yosuke could see through him and could tell he was worried. 

Yosuke shrugged “I mean I do live close to here dude or have you forgotten the layout of town already?”

His partner laughed. Tenseness leaving his body “no-I haven’t! It’s only been what since your birthday I’ve visited! That’s hardly two months ago partner”

”It’s pretty long if you ask me sensei”

”thanks teddie”

”Your welcome!!”

Souji just chuckled lightly patting the bears head. The scene made yosuke smile even through the anxious ball formed in his gut, Souji’s eyes met his “Have you been doing alright?” he asked

Yosuke flinched pulling his eyes away from the teen. “uh-yeah I mean…as well as you can be with flowers caught in your throat” he stumbled his words out, souji shook his head sighing “I meant in general…you’ve been eating well right?”

”ummm…kind of it’s hard with uh these in here” He touches his throat feeling the slightly tickle from breathing alone,

The other sighed leaning back on the chair behind him “hey teddie you think you can do me a favor?”

He didn’t even have to wait for answer “OF COURSE! What is it sensei?” teddie yelled eye’s almost sparkling, Souji chuckled pulling out his wallet “go take this and buy yosuke some ice cream” he said using the voice he used with nanako

”I’m on it!”

They both watch the bear skip off to the food stands loudly humming. Once yosuke was sure ted was out of ear shot he frown at his partner “you didn’t have to do that partner”,

”you need to eat”

Yosuke sighed moving over to his seat crossing his arms “It’s fine it’s not like I’m not eating!” he said. Even if it wasn’t fully true, he’s eaten the best he could but…

”I swear everything’s not as bad as you think. You know the others blow things out of proportion” yosuke gave the teen a half hearted smile,

Now it was souji’s turn to frown he stared at Yosuke opening and closing his mouth a few times “par-“

”I’M BACK!”

souji looked over to teddie and gave a small smile “here’s your ice cream yosuke!” the bear grinned at him,

”thank you ted” he said taking the ice cream from the bear’s hand,

He glances over to the other teen. Worry returned into his gray eyes yosuke sighed looking down to the table, he cursed himself that he didn’t reassure his partner at all. Damn it. If only it wasn’t…hard to talk to him of all people right now,

”the others should be here soon.” Souij muttered sitting down at the table with yosuke,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They ended up in the TV,

It was Souji’s idea of course. He wanted to see if by some chance yosuke’s hanahaki case was some effect from the TV. Souji stared at rise as she scanned the area for anything that could tie to the flowers

Naoto stood close to Yosuke. Watching him with an unreadable expression,

Yosuke really doesn’t want to be here

But it’s not like he could say no to Souji. He’s his partner, “…do you think they’ll find anything Naoto-kun?” he asked in a low whisper,

”there is a high chance your hanahaki case is connected to the TV world Yosuke senpai…It could only be likely Rise finds something” Naoto answered glancing over to the rest of team,

Yosuke only gives a nod as response crossing his arms over his chest. To say he feels uncomfortable is a starch…okay maybe he is but that’s not it!, It was the looming fear of the flowers tickling his throat trying to get out scared him,

Most of all he didn’t want Souji to see. He’s already worried him enough today,

”Hey…uh Naoto-kun I’m Gonna go step over there to…breathe”,

”Okay…try and call us if it happens again” they gave Yosuke a weary weak smile before letting him walk off the platform,

Stepping on the unrealistic green grass. Yosuke felt like he can Breath again,

He walked a bit far out but still relatively close to the others and sat down on the grass. Okay he can’t ignore that seeing rise and Souji close to each didn’t bug him and he knows why but…he should focus on not dropping dead,

Yosuke has the idea of how to well take care of this stupid problem yet. There’s these buts and his worse thoughts of rejection scared him,

The fact he could ruin something like this scared the living daylights out of him,

He looked back to the platform watching what seems to be rise cheering. She most have found something, he winced seeing Souji pat her head. Yosuke can see the proud smile on the other teens face from here

Yosuke frowned gripping at the grass. His chest felt heavier,

damn it

he knew this wasn’t going to be easy but still…it hurts so much, he made the plan in his head hey partner there’s something I really need you to know and then…

’Rejection? Right?’

Everything starting feeling really far away when he thought about it, there was no then to continue that thought

Just…fear of rejection

……..

”Yosuke! yosuke are you okay!?”

Souji’s voice yelled at him. Breaking through the state of panic Yosuke put himself in, he loosen his grip on the grass between his fists. Souji was in view of him. His hands holding his shoulders tightly the others standing around them all with panicked faces,

”…I-I’m okay…I’m sorry it’s okay I swear-“ His words ended with a gagging noise. As he doubled over coughing,

The sliver haired teen gripped tighter saying something. Yosuke didn’t hear

hands went up to cup his mouth coughing the petals into them. In a moment he felt able to breath again. Thank god and reality started to come into focus again, Yosuke dropped his hands, one flower and a lot of petals laid in them.

His eyes trailed up slowly to sliver worried ones. Souji let out a sigh of relief seeing that yosuke was fine and alive, “partner” an empty laugh escaped the other teens mouth as he pulled Yosuke into a tight embrace.

”I-I’m alright partner see? It wasn’t bad I swear” Yosuke smiled patting Souji’s back. He felt the other nod pulling back “I’m just…really glad your alright you scared us”

Yosuke’s smile flattered “sorry” he mumbled looking down. He felt one of his partners hands on his shoulder again,

”don’t okay? Lets just get you out of here okay?”

Yosuke nodded. Souji stood holding a hand out to him. He took without second thought

It burned

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Rise found the same flowers inside the TV. Primulas that’s what she called them the other day, she used them for a song he remembers that now. It was a pretty video about love

”Selfishness. Unrequited love and eternal love” Naoto spoke.

”those meaning’s are all sad besides one” rise replied,

The word selfishness hung in his mind. A selfish love, hoping for something that you could never have,

Unrequited love. Knowing you’ll never be loved by the one who charmed your heart, but wouldn’t dare make it their fault. Because in the end it wasn’t, it was Yosuke’s own fault. His Own heart and feelings fault,

Rise and Naoto continued talking the others joining in now again. Yosuke was listen but wasn’t really listening he caught a few words “what if take him around town see if any-“. “Not likely a sound idea what if-“

…he can’t do this. He can’t, Yosuke get up from his seat not even saying a word to the others and left,

though that plan didn’t go far once Naoto ran up to him right before he could get to the elevator. “Senpai. What are you doing? We weren’t done talking and-“

”Naoto I can’t do this”,

The other teen frowned “look yosuke I understand that. Right now it’s hard for you to be around the team but please, you can’t run off not when we could find another way for this to go away” they said sounding sure of Themselves.

Yosuke bit at his lip crossing and uncrossing his arms. Not quite sure what to do with them as he talked, “We’re not even sure anything in the TV would work!”

”You don’t know that”

”Neither do you! Naoto there’s still an endless list of things we don’t know!” Yosuke retorted. 

”I thought you wanted to find another way to get rid of these flowers?. Do you not trust us Yosuke Senpai to help you?” Naoto looked up to him with a look of disappointment, “I intend to help you rather you like not it or not. We’re friends you should be able to trust us by now”

a lump was forming in his throat. He does trust them. Of course he does that’s not the issue here he wants to just say it, say what he feels for once.

”We should return to the others. I can say you weren’t feeling well and we’ll call it a day”,

Naoto sighed turning around.

”T-That’s not it Naoto-kun”,

The younger teen looked back a brow raised. Edging Yosuke on to continue, “That’s not it at all” he said again voice shaky. “I do trust you guys, you’re my friends and you all do so much for me but…” he sighed, this is a lot harder and it’s not even to the person. 

“But?. You need to speak to get your point across” Naoto said their voice soft, supportive even.

”I want to tell him…how I feel, I want to tell Souji how I feel” a smile formed on his own face, the thought alone confessing to Souji scared him. A lot Yosuke will be honest about that,

But he also doesn’t want to hide anymore. Be true to himself finally no more skipping around his feelings or who he is,

Naoto smiled back at him. They looked proud of Yosuke, proud that he’ll finally be honest with himself “Senpai…That’s very brave of you” Naoto said turning around fully to the other, “You’re really strong Yosuke-kun”

Yosuke. His face heated up letting out a nervous laugh. “I-I’m really not Naoto-kun” He mumbled rubbing the back of his neck,

”No you are…being true to yourself like this. It’s admirable really I’m sure it will go confessing your feelings”. Yosuke tried to reply when the ever so familiar voice of their leader spoke up,

”Naoto! Is Yosuke okay?” Souji asked as he walked up next to Naoto. His face showing signs of worry looking over Yosuke for any signs of breathing issues, 

before even getting an answer Souji already moved to Yosuke’s side. “You are alright right?” He was repeating himself by rephrasing his words, partner does that when he’s worried, Yosuke forced that stupid ping of guilt away to reassure him “I’m fine. Just really tired, sorry”,

The tension in Souji’s body leaves as he gives a relieved smile. “It’s okay, do you want to call it a day for now?. I don’t fully what happened when they first bought you in the TV to help and-”

”Souji! Please, it’s nothing really I’m fine I swear. I just…really can’t do this right now” Yosuke gestures over to the group, everyone minus teddie and kanji talking about possible crushes he could have for an answer to why this happened,

His partner frowned. Clear signs of wanting an answer himself showed though his face, Souji let out a sigh “I’m sorry it didn’t even cross my mind about how’d you feel if we started making up ideas…like that, yosuke I’m so sorry”

”It’s alright really!. It’s not your fault!”

souji shakes his head looking yosuke in the eyes “no I should have thought of your feelings first yosuke. You’re my partner, I wanted to solve this fast and help you and…well I’m not seeming to be doing that at all” his brows frown in frustration,

he tried to think up something to say to reassure him that wasn’t the case but yosuke failed to find his voice after hearing that,

”we’ll be joining you and the other shortly senpai. Why don’t you explain to them the issue I think that would help yosuke-kun greatly don’t you think?”

The other teen perks up. Souji nods to Naoto giving a quick reply “Right. Right I’ll go do that” wasting no time leaving the two alone and running back towards the team,

once again yosuke and naoto where alone. He lets out a relieved sigh running his hands through his hair, “god this isn’t going to be easy at all I change my mind” He groans. The young detective frowns and gives yosuke a look, “I thought you were being true to yourself senpai”

”shut up. I am! Just…ugh now he has to make it so much harder for me being the perfect partner like always!”

Naoto just laughs pulling their hat down “isn’t that how you feel for him in the first place?”

Yosuke in no way denies what the other said isn’t true. “Come on! We should head back now. I think I can handle the rest of the day now!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay first off. i am so sorry this took so flipping long, i fucked up and got one of my hands cut up and burnt the other like a week after that last month and i was useless for three weeks, (i couldn't even draw either that alone was awful)
> 
> things are going to get more fun next chapter i promise!
> 
> (primulas have three meanings that tie to love or anything romantic why not state all three we're learning about flowers here aren't we?)

**Author's Note:**

> i kind of had a fic idea like this for a long while and some friends said i should go through with it hehe so uh big thanks to them!,


End file.
